Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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