dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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