well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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