And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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