I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
