I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
