I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
