I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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