I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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