That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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