I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
