We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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