haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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