Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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