We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
