My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
