he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize