remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
