I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
