Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
