Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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