im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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