We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
