Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
