if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
