But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
