Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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