He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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