so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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