1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
