I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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