i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I forget how to act sober
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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