The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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