I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i dont even know how to be here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
