The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
