how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize