Im at strip club and am horny
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm having to shit out rocks
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