So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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