My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
