Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
