Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
