ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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