i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
