My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
