Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
