I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
