Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So here I am, sexting at work.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
