like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
