Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
