Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
there is glitter all over my balls
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