i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
