Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Randomize
