? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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