Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I will be naked everywhere
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
