You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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