Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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