It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
