Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
