Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize