One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
