Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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