oh god the rape fog is back!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
