So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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