mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
