shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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