Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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