Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
