He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
