I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
