Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
