I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
