I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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