just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The feeling are messing with the penis
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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