I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize