I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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