Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
