I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
