How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
