k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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