The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
