she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
